Will Not Breed in Captivity

Keely Khoury, writer/editor

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Unintentional toilet humour April 4th 2011, posted in Small things

All of my antenatal appointments start with the feeling of being part of a baby-making factory.

Upon arrival, every woman is required to pick up a clear plastic bag, from a huge box on the counter, and join the line of women in all stages of pregnancy clutching their loudly crinkling, soon-to-be used urine sample cup.

The hilarity continues when, due to the busyness of this hospital, everyone is required to sit in a crowded waiting room, for an indeterminate amount of time, clutching a cup of urine, waiting to see a midwife.

All this means that varying degrees of nonchalance are on show as each woman emerges from the bathroom stalls.

Some women swaddle their samples in miles of toilet paper, some tuck the cups into bags or pockets, and others hold them gingerly between fingertips

Luckily, the appointments greatly improve as each woman eventually is able to leave her urine sample with the lab and get on with the more pleasant aspects of a regular check-up.

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